Goodbye my sweet sweet Abbey - You were my special heart horse

Friday afternoon was a heart breaking and gut wrenching day for me, as I had to say farewell to my beautiful, beautiful friend Abbey, after some 15 years together. Although I knew the day was coming, I had not expected it to go like this. 

At first, when I went out and saw her laying down, I thought she had maybe caught and tangled her elbow in her rug, and never being one to thrash to get loose. She has stood for hours next to a fence, when a belly strap got caught, stood hours in the fence when she managed to get 2 legs o the other side of the fence (polyrope not electrified). She got up and walked off just fine, no hint of her arthritis or uncomfortableness from her DSLD, went and ate some feed.

Only an hour later, upon returning from picking up my son from school, she was down again, and I knew it wasn't good. To be honest, when I drove off earlier after getting her up, my gut was telling me something then.

This time, she didn't get up. This tough as nails old girl, was sore. She lifted her head to me, sniffed me, and then laid back down in my lap, eyes mostly closed, as she clenched her teeth and spasmed her legs in pain, whilst I waited for the vet to arrive.

Sedatives and pain relief, only did a little to help. She was already on borrowed time to be with me.....

Abbey has now been buried, in a lane way I had planned behind the stable, going out to the yards, where I will plant a tree above her, so she can keep growing and provide shade and shelter for others, just like she did when she was the one always standing watching over everyone else resting.

Those who got to meet her gentle soul fell in love with her, even those who were afraid of horses and their size, and Abbey stood a good solid 16hh (warmblood).

Abbey would never consider being pushy and rude and would never consider running you over. Even my son Zac, at 18 months old, could feed her, as she would wait until I told she could eat.

In 15 years, I never had her pull a face at me, pin her ears, try to kick or harm me. 
She would come to me if in pain or sore (but I can count on one hand the times she has ) as she would tolerate more pain and discomfort and exhaustion, than any other horse I have known, and not complain.

I am blessed to have had her through this last summer, and as heartbroken as I am , that I had to say goodbye to what appears to have been colic (for her to show the amount of pain and discomfort she was in, meant she really wasn't doing good) I am grateful to have been with her.

I knelt with her head in my lap, watching the agonising expressions of pain in her face, her eyelids twitching shut and body cramping in bouts of pain, stroking her neck whilst waiting for the vet to arrive.

I stayed with her every minute, to her very last breath, as she tried to overcome the pain, and stand for me, but it was it was too much , whatever was happeing to her inside.

I stayed with her as she slowly collapsed to the ground with the final , goodbye, pain relief administered and easing her agony and suffering for all time.

I got to say goodbye, breathe into her nostrils for her last breath one very final last time to say ,hello, I love you, I'm here , just as I did every time I saw her  <3